Waking Dreams

Dear Diary~


So... the medication is sort of working... I mean... the dreams aren't as clear... they're kind of fuzzy now... but... sometimes... when I wake up... I see him standing there in my room... watching me... but after a bit... even if I keep my eyes focused on him, he just goes away... fading away like he was just a dream... I mean... of course he is... but god... Waking dreams are unsettling...


This has happened twice, once last night and just a few minutes ago... I just woke up from some nightmare... I don't know what it was about... couldn't see anything...


But... also the medication is making it hard to function during day to day activities... I'm sluggish and am finding it really hard to think very complicated thoughts...


Also I still feel watched... that hasn't changed at all... It's all the time too... no matter where I am... like he's there... looming over me... watching... waiting for something...


Bernard Laguardia

Yesterday and why I'm still up

Dear Diary~


Watched The Thing for the first time. Fantastic movie by the way. =3 Even didn't mind the ending though, it seemed kind of weird...  I mean... why did our main character just completely give up? Oh well, still enjoyed it.


So yeah, why I'm still up. Just insomnia. No one I know is awake right now, so I'm just on the internet, surfing it.


Also I think the new medication may be having some weird side-effects, which I'll be discussing with my doctor. I'm sure he'll work with me to make sure I either get the right dosage, or a new medication. Though I hate doing new medications, cause it takes like a week for them to level out and start working properly. XP


Oh and I'm loving The Whalestoe Letters. =3 If I have the free time, I think I'll try getting House of Leaves and readin through it. I mean... I do have a lot of free time... just whether I really want to get that involved with a book.


That's it for now. See you later internets.


Bernard Laguardia