I've found nothing...

Dear Diary~


I can't find anything... The Voice is trying to help me, but we can't find anything of importance... it feels like I'm close to something I need... but I don't know... It's strange...


I'm going to take a walk tomorrow...


Bernard Laguardia

We're in Bartlesville, Oklahoma

Dear Diary~


Yesterday was just like Friday, nothing happened... I'm seriously getting freaked out by the lack of activity... have they just forgotten about me?


Well... we're here... I'm going to be staying in Drake's house and looking around to see if I can find anything... if something comes up I'll let you all know...


Bernard Laguardia

Asheville, North Carolina

Dear Diary~


That's how far I've made it so far... so... I should be there around... sunday.


Nothing happened on the drive today... seriously... the lack of activity is making me nervous...


I feel like they're planning something big... and it's making me scared...


But The Voice is telling me not to be afraid...


So yeah...


Bernard Laguardia

I'm leaving the mansion I have a direction

Dear Diary~


The Voice and I have been discussing what our next plan of action should actually be, and we decided to head back to Oklahoma... obviously what's happening to me has something to do with Drake, so we're going to go to his house and see if there's anything there for us.


It feels good to have direction again... I'm leaving later today. I'm sorry I didn't stay longer... but I have to do something, I can't just sit around and do nothing any longer... something must be done...


I can feel a pull, and I'm following it as best I can.


Bernard Laguardia

Still here, sorry for lack of posting or replying...

Dear Diary~


In response to DJ Atomika's comment: I'm not really lost anywhere... I just feel really lost, sorry for any worry I may have caused...


I'm still at the mansion... though I may have to leave soon... The voice has come back several times since the last time I heard it... It's told me who it is, but I'd rather not talk about it that much. Apparently it thinks that I shouldn't mention who/ what it is, because it'll keep me relatively safe...


the reason I might need to leave is that The Voice wants me to do something for it... and honestly because I know what has happened, I'm more than willing to help it... I know there's safety in numbers, but I do feel that this is something I need to help with...


Also, I've noticed the silence on the side of the proxies... and honestly... it's worrying... I mean... I may not like seeing their posts, but it feels good to know they're out there, and not plotting something in secret...


The Voice has been helping me with me with my schizophrenia and is helping me keep it in check... at least for now... also right now I'm on the down swing of my schizophrenia, so for a little while I should be okay, though when it starts to become more active my posts might seem a little... off... like when I put in "lost" in my last post, I don't really remember changing the text colors to make the message... so yeah, I'll probably do that kind of stuff from time to time.


That's all for now... if you have any questions just let me know...


Bernard Laguardia

Dear Diary~


... I'm sorry for not updating everyone...


I've just felt so drained recently...


The voice hasn't come back yet...


but from time to time I feel like someone is there...


but it doesn't scare me...


I'm just a little nervous...


I'll be fine....


Don't worry about me...


Bernard Laguardia